Wanting and having

During the first year of my collecting journey, wanting took central stage. I was in a hurry to try as many different brands and models as possible. I was quick to fall in love with the pictures and descriptions of pens I saw online. I acquired too many pens, but also easily moved them along if they did not work out the way I hoped. I read ravenously (books, blogs, what have you), tried as much as I could from modern to vintage, and began to assemble a collection. I do not miss those days. The wanting felt frantic. I was not enjoying it as much as I hoped. It was also an outlet for the overwhelming grief I felt after the death of a close friend in 2020. I don’t judge myself; 2020 was awful.

A famous Spock quote goes, “After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.”

Well, I don’t really agree. It’s illogical :)

In all seriousness, desire is individual, but personally I feel much better after having acquired some beloved pens.

Currently Inked pen beauty shots

Pens are tools, but wanting them is about the life of emotions, the ebb and flow of mood and absence, the keen unspeakable discrepancy between the internal music and the cacophony of everyday. But what if that perfect depth of feeling is already in the pen box?

I thought quite a bit about my wanting/having equilibrium lately. It is now June, and I have officially added one pen to the Gathering. I sold two pens in May. I also let go of a third pen, a catch-and-release. It was an orange Scribo Piuma from the Goldspot sale. It had a great nib, I got it on a great sale, I love orange, I love Scribo, I love Piumas — and I let it go. When I wrote with it, I felt that the orange of the Piuma was not as joyful to me as the orange of my Internazionale. And the nib was similar to my two existing Piumas; having compared the two, I felt I preferred the Impressione.

This is not the thinking I would have had if this was my first Scribo, my first Piuma, my first orange pen.

Aurora Internazionale with Menagerie friend, the crocodile

Ever since the Aurora Internazionale entered the Gathering, I measure every newcomer against it. Will it be as beloved? Will I feel as tender about the new pen as I do about the Internazionale? And it’s been a high bar to clear. The arrival of the Scribo Piuma Impressione in late 2023 was welcome - I wanted that pen for over two years, the colors are complementary to the Aurora Internazionale so the two pens look good together, and the writing experience is very different. The Scribo Maddalena is my only remaining acquisition, so far, of 2024. My obsession with the Maddalena was such that I dreamt about this pen. It has a lovely M 18k nib, and its midcentury color and shape are appealing. It feels solid, but not too precious. It’s a good traveler.

So… when a new pen appears on the horizon, or even lands on my desk, it is measured against these and other beloved pens in the Gathering, such as the Onoto Magna Keats. It’s a tough call. I want what I have more than I want something new. Yet, I don’t in any way feel that the collection is finished. I don’t know if it will ever be finished. Pens will continue to come and go for a while, perhaps forever. I want what I have, but it does not prevent further wanting :) it’s just slower and more meditative now. I enjoy this pace a lot more.